Save The Linoleum (1995)
Awful, Bizarre Atlantic Promo CD
Personally? Can’t stand her. Which is why this promo-only release is such a great listen. Long before Jewel was embraced at radio, Atlantic Records sent out Save the Linoleum to promote her debut album, Pieces Of You. But later, the label attempted to “recall” this CD – as if that was even possible. One listen and you’ll hear why. In the opener, the non-LP “God’s Gift To Women,” Jewel pounds out a tuneless riff, references her “nice tits” and tosses in a “motherfucker” just for the heck of it. To intro the live track, “I’m Sensitive,” she insensitively tells an audience member to “shut up,” then apologizes cloyingly. The chorus to the abysmal “Race Car Driver,” features a vocal so curious, and so annoying, that we must collectively thank her for never revisiting it. This isn’t some clandestine live bootleg that happened to filter out. This was someone’s clumsy attempt to promote a new artist. Save The Linoleum (save for the two radio-friendly LP cuts) is like a bad accident that simply demands your attention. Amazon‘s got some.
God’s Gift To Women
Intro…
I’m Sensitive (Live Version)
Who Will Save Your Soul (LP Version)
Race Car Driver
Flower
I’m Sensitive (LP Version)
7 Comments
Willard, that was completely fucked–beyond cruel. The first track reveals that not only Jewel is an awful singer and lyricist, but that her band sucks as well, considering that they stumble through the changes and the drummer flubs cues throughout.
And WOW OMG was "Race Car Driver" unbearable. Was that a "Sean Connery by way of the guy that does Sean Connery on SNL" impersonation she was doing on the chorus.
My only explanation for this was that everyone involved was stoned out of their gourd. Unreal. THANKS!
JBL,
Your outrage is understandable. But… your disgust should be viewed as a positive. As evidence: the gag response you encountered upon listening. That's a healthy reaction. Your body felt threatened and responded instinctively to the enemy virus. Consider it an affirmation of all that is good. As for the reason? It COULD be bad musicians… or bad marketing… or just bad decision making by all of the above. But, it is… by all accounts… bad.
Indeed, this may be some of the worst music I've ever heard. But I believe that sometimes we must endure difficult experiences to emerge from them stronger, better people.
Today you have aided me in this endeavor.
This is just as astonishingly bad as Willard and the other commenters have said. All I wanted to add is that it's just so classy how she rips off Leonard Cohen's "Dress Rehearsal Rag" in "Race Car Driver" and Joni Mitchell's "Marcie" in "Flowers." Buy an idea, Jewelly-puss!
Thanks for posting, as always… :)
I just don't understand … this is hilarious and so enjoyable. I love how she tries to go Shakira on "Race Car Driver" before Shakira sang in English. And "God's Gift To Women" is just beyond belief. I hope to cover it at some point in my lifetime. You are right, though, that this is a ridiculous way to promote Jewel.
Find it HERE.
Okay, I admit it. I listened to "God's Gift To Women" just because I wanted to hear her mention her breasts.